Some days….. Well, some days just SUCK!!


see.... I really DO Look pitiful!!!!

see…. I really DO Look pitiful!!!!

Alright alright….  I need a little pity right now.  Yup, I’m just gonna state that upfront.  I want, no I NEED your undivided attention, your love, your support.  Yes, your PITY.

Why you ask?  Well, there are lots of reasons right now.  Let’s see….  One of my best work friends is currently on an extended vacation….  I hope she’s reading this in Portugal right now because she needs to know that abandoning me here at work for three whole weeks of misery while she galavants around Portugal all “footloose and fancy free” is not something I am gonna forget (especially since she keeps texting me pictures of all the beautifulness!!!).  But of course all will be forgiven when she returns….

Then there was this morning.  I arose from by bed, feeling like my usual self on any other Friday morning, acomplished my usual 20 minute routine and was out the door to work.  I decided that since Todd was working from home today, I would simply take the truck for the drive, and maybe feel a little butch, something I rarely get to do when I’m working downtown (I mean, the truck is not the best thing to be driving in a congested traffic ridden urban center, and then there’s the whole “it can’t fit into my usual parking garage issue….  but today, I thought it would be worth it…..).  Half way to work though, I thought about the fact that there just MIGHT be a piece of furniture in the box of the truck that someone would be coming to our house to pick up during the day (of course I chose to ignore that little voice in the back of my head and keep driving….  in retrospect?  BAD idea, since it turns out that stupid little voice in my head is sometimes far smarter than my “rational” brain).

Here's how it STARTED

Here’s how it STARTED

Of course, the seasons are changing, and today, during my eastbound drive to downtown Toronto, the sun chose to rise.  Yeah.  I know…..   Like I should have expected any better from the sun right?  Really, why should I be complaining about a nice bright October morning when the sun chooses to rise above the horizon, and attempt to warm the earth yet another day before autumn gives way to another cold and blustery winter right?  Well, let me tell you, after an hour of driving eastbound, with that bright orange ball of fire burning it’s way into the back of my brain, the headache and nausea (which almost necessitated a highway side stop I should add) was definately something I would trade in exchange for a nice dark drive to work any day.

But.... very soon it was the hot white light of a thousand suns burin gin my retinas!!!!

But…. very soon it was the hot white light of a thousand suns burin gin my retinas!!!!

So, medication, and a dark, quiet break in a co-workers “office” space, and I was up and running.  Well, let’s be honest, I was sitting upright and impersonating a human being, but not much more…..  So we added some caffeine (in the form of espresso….   yes….   caffeine can do wonders for headaches let me tell you!!!).  Before I knew it, it was lunch time…..  And that’s when the pity party reached a whole new level……

You see, today is the day my employer decided to do something absolutely wonderful for us “cogs in the wheel.”  Today was the hospital’s “BBQ LUNCH” you see!!!  Yay!!!  Hamburgers, grilled chicken breasts, sausages potato salads, and yes…..  EVEN ICE CREAM for dessert!!!!  Oh, did I mention??  ALL FOR FREE (with that cute little paper “admit one” ticket that had been laid out on the counter in the medication room for me by our manager).  What to do, what to do????  I mean, I had brought my lunch from home, all nice and neatly arranged and calorie counted, as I usually do.  BUT today had gone off plan in soooooo many ways……  and I felt like I needed a pick me up.  I know friday nights are a time when Todd and I usually have a “higher calorie” dinner (read, I pick up something insanely tasty from the butcher and we just find a way to make the calories fit into the daily plan) , but, still…..  I deserved it!!!

the centre of all evilness in the universe!!!

the centre of all evilness in the universe!!!

So….  into my coat, and out into the great outdoors I went…  lined up with the other lemmings, and took a simple, rational sized portion of lunch.  There was a protein SAUSAGE!!! (1/4 pound), one side POTATO SALAD (1 cup), a DIET pop and small ICE CREAM (1/2 cup) portion of dessert.  Nothing excessive, no second plates, no gorging on everything in sight…..  AND THEN I WORKED OUT THE CALORIE COUNT!!!!   OH SWEET GOD IN HEAVEN WHAT HEAVEN I DONE????

Can you see the 1226 calories? Really though.... CAN YOU????

Can you see the 1226 calories? Really though…. CAN YOU????

My lunch was 1226 calories!!!!   1226!!!!!  Thankfully I didn’t have any breakfast today…..   thanks to that migrane I wasn’t in a “food kind mood” (can you imagine that?  ME not inot food??  Yeah… I find it hard to believe as well…..).  So…… Yes, if you put an Italian sausage on a bun, add some condiments, and some potato salad then finish with some Hagen Daas ice cream, you too can wonder if your pants will split their seams before the end of your shift!!!!!  Wonderful isn’t it?

Yes, Evil even comes with it's own little built in spoon!!! How convenient is that????

Yes, Evil even comes with it’s own little built in spoon!!! How convenient is that????

(It’s now Saturday Oct. 24, 2015).  After all of this I think I will add a new level of “accountability” to my blogging experience…..  I’m gonna post my daily calorie log for the day…..  I don’t think I have ever done that yet now have I???  Maybe this will become something… who knows….  But.  Anyway…..  here you go…..  this is what my Friday Oct. 23, 2015 intake of calories looked like.  Read it and weep.  EAT MY SHORTS!!!!  Because even WITH my bit of self indulgence….. I only exceeded my calorie limit by 107 calories!!!!   (yeah I know I know….. it was complete shit luck, not one ounce of skill or planning…….  but THAT’S a good thing….  really it is….  trust me…..   I’ll explain in a few minutes….).

and the truth shall set you free!!!!

and the truth shall set you free!!!!

As I look back on yesterday I’ve learned a thing or two.  1.  plan.  plan. plan. (then deviate).  Apparently if you’ve been trying to walk this “responsible calorie intake” road for long enough, even your deviant nature won’t take you too far off the path (but beware, this is not a beginner move…..   I think you need to be about 10 months on before you let this happen…..).  2.  Participating in socially mandated BBQ situations helps keep you from looking like a socially unacceptable DOUCHEBAG!!!  3.  Shouting the calorie count of a MODEST BBQ lunch at your manager as she keeps walking away from you shaking her head is probably  A.  not a smart career move  B.  not sounding very thankful for the free ride  C.  counterproductive to the “don’t appear to be a douchebag at work” effort.  So…..  let me publicly shout out an apology to my manager.  Yeah like she even reads this stuff…..   he, MLL…..  if you DO read this?  let me know on Monday ok?  I’ll let me know just how much I should/should not say on here!!!!  LOL!!!!  (no seriously….  let me know ok?)

Anyway.  My weekend is almost half over, my wine glass is empty.  I still have to figure out my calorie count for dinner tonight (I am a little worried about that BTW) and I really really need to do some productive things at my sewing machine (what I really mean to say is…  clean  my newly marked “sewing room territory” which the government of Todd is only reluctantly beginning to officially recognize…..) AND I just want to relax…..  so this blog post is done folks…..   so sorry……  I know you are all trying to figure out how to survive until the next sporadic instalment….   I’ll try and help by making things less sporadic……   (EMPHASIS on TRY).

Have a good weekend everybody…  and Thanks for reading!!!!

Duane!!!

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