Holy F’ing Peanut Butter Bat Man!!!!!!

DISCLAIMER:  We have not now, now have we ever been affiliated with this company.  We are not bing paid to endorse this product.  There is no financial gain for us to talk about this product.  There IS however, gain for YOU if you READ THIS POST!!!!!

 Alright.  There.  I have gotten the minor details outta the way upfront.  Brace yourself….  Duane’s gonna get DRAMATIQUE!!!

Actually, that’s not really true.  Duane is thinking, “damn that’s F’ing good!”  Todd on the other hand is like….   “you need to find more of this shit.  I know we are broke and can’t afford toilet paper…..  but look if you see any more of this?  BUY IT…..  I’ll use leaves for the next month or so ok?  How much of this can you buy if I don’t use toilet paper for a month????”

You think I’m joking.  I am not!!!  Todd thinks he’s in heaven right now.  He’s almost F’ing beside himself!!!!   If you saw him right now?  You’d be reaching for your shot gun, like in the classic movie “Old Yeller” ‘cuz you’d think that all that foaming at the mouth was indicative of rabies!!!!   (But it’s not…. Trust me….  Todd’s vet says he’s in perfectly good health….  I mean….  he had to have a full checkup before the marriage license was granted right??? lololol).

Before I give you there full details of what I’m driving at…..   I should mention…..  there’s a blog power struggle going on right now.   I wanna say FUCK a lot.  Todd HATES it when I type those letters…..   BUT……  YOU GUYS SEEM TO READ IT MORE WHEN I USE THOSE WORDS (or so the stats suggest)……..   (and I’m a readership whore now aren’t I?  that doesn’t surprise anyone right????).  So in Compromise?   This will be the last time I type the word FUCK (for now at least). Please be aware that anytime you see F’ing OR Effen, or Eff’ing or anything else similar,  I had INTENDED to use the word FUCK (DAMN!!!!  I broke my rule already!!!!!……  But I digress!!!!)

PEANUT BUTTER!!!!!   That’s what I’m talking about!!!!!  As a moment of personal revelation I should first openly admit, peanut butter has been a contentious issue in our relationship….  it’s kinda amazing that we have survived  the 9 years (tomorrow) that we have.  It’s so much a part of the tension in our lives that we have reached an understanding that when I say “peanut butter” it means STOP THAT NOW!!!!!  (Shall we say it’s a “safe word” of sorts???   LOLOL!).

Tonight though, peanut butter unites Todd and I.  Yeah.  I’ve spent far too long  now drawing this out….. (just as a vehicle to make you read the words I wanted to write…).  So.  Here goes.  Tru-nut.  That’s a brand name…..  of POWDERED PEANUT BUTTER.  Yes.  STOP right there.  I said POWDERED PB.  When  first found it on the shelf I was like…..  “What the F is this Todd?”  And he was all like…..  “Just another gimmicky bit of shit Duane, I’m sure….”


I bought it anyway!!!!!   (LOLOL  no one saw THAT coming did you?????)

It sat in the pantry for a week or two.  Then tonight, while packing our lunches for tomorrow, Todd pulled it out of the pantry and it was time to START to figure this stuff out.  (yeah…. I’m pretty sure this experiment has just BEGUN).

So, let’s just start with the WHY this is important.  1 tbsp Peanut Butter = 90 calories.  Yeah.  When you are trying to count those calories that ain’t gonna happen too often now is it?  Not F’ing likely!!!!  Powdered Peanut butter on the other hand???  1 tbsp is only 22.5 calories (for the powder only….  more on that in a minute).  That’s like nearly 75% less!!!!!

 So to make a short story longer than it is….  tonight…..  1 tbsp of powdered peanut butter got mixed with 2 tsp of unsweetened cashew milk (silk brand here….) and a quite decent peanut butter replacement was born!!!!  The manufacturer talks about how their process of powdering the peanut butter removes a portion of the fat content which reduces the calories.  They talk about mixing the powder with WATER (haven’t tried that yet….  but at only 1 calorie for the 2 tsp of cashew milk I don’t see the need to use water anyway), and you can make a reasonably thick spreadable peanut butter like treat.  FOR 23.5 CALORIES PER GENEROUS TABLESPOON!!!!! 
Ok, so I’ve ranted enough.  There will be more experiments…..   Peanut sauces.  Maybe cookies, homemade “Recees Peanut Butter Cups” even?  I’m not sure where this will lead.  But all I can say now is this:

1.   Todd is a peanut butter NUT, and he approves this message!

2.  I now get to go SHOPPING tomorrow!!!!  YAY!!!! (powdered peanut butter for Todd…..  Cashmere sweater for me!!!   The world is perfect again!!!!)


(Now todd won’t be able to sleep tonight……  worrying that I might NOT be joking!!!!)

Thanks for reading everyone!!  (and have a l0w calorie glass of wine for me ok?)


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