Today is a
It called my name. I looked twice. It said “slim fit.” It was a medium. I’t couldn’t possibly fit. I know I’ve lost some weight. But, I knew it couldn’t hurt to try it on. I mean really, the last button up shirt I bought was NOT a slim fit. It surely wasn’t a MEDIUM either!! There have been some XL shirts in my recent past, so there was no risk. None whatsoever. So I found myself picking it up to try on. I was probably looking more for some incentive to keep up what Todd and I had started. You know what I mean, a goal, a challenge to work toward. That’s what I was telling myself anyway.
I cannot tell a lie. This little red shirt incident did immediate follow some co-workers commenting on how much weight I had lost. I had to pull my scrubs tight on my body so they could actually see my progress, since they have started hanging from me like a tent. I’ve been told by those co-workers that I really should buy at least one new pair of scrubs so that I could feel like I’d accomplished something. The idea had been rolling around in my head for a while I won’t even try and tell you otherwise.
Todd and I have talked about this as well. We weren’t going to buy any new clothes until we reached our goals. Otherwise it would all just be a waste right? Buy stuff that you won’t be able to wear comfortably in another 3 months or so? Why would you do that anyway? I mean I understand his point. It’s not hard to see the logic.
On the other hand though, as Todd looses weight (which he has been doing at an incredible rate as well) he gets to move downward into MY old clothes. He gets jeans that fit. Shorts that don’t have to be cinched tight with oversized belts. He gets to dress at least his lower half in clothes that fit him reasonably well. I, on the other hand have not had that privilege.
My scrubs have been gathered up tighter and tighter on their drawstrings. My jeans and pants have left me at constant risk of exposing my butt in public, despite using my belt as a defence. The belt in question has gotten to the point where even the smallest hole in the progression is still too loose on me and just doesn’t feel at all like it belongs to me. Meanwhile I am tucking the extra length of the belt into my pocket so that I don’t have it swinging around my knees (I exaggerate only slightly here when I say this).
Do you remember that feeling had when you were a kid/teeneger and tried on your big brother’s (or father’s) sport coat? You know, when the sleeves were too long, and the shoulders just a bit too wide? That feeling of “playing dress up?” Yeah, well I’ve been feeling like that for awhile now. It’s not always a great feeling. As a matter of fact, I hadn’t realized just how unlike “myself” I had been feeling lately.
So I tried on that red shirt. It felt a bit weird. It actually made me realize that there was fabric touching my body. It felt a little tight, kinda. Then I looked in the mirror. I looked like a person. Someone I’d see on the street. You know that guy, the one that reminds you of how you USED to look. That’s when I realized that the shirt ACTUALLY FIT! (I just wasn’t used to how that actually felt anymore!) I tried to resist the urge, but I was feeling kinda light headed and giddy. So I started looking at pants.
Yes, I know, this is dangerous territory right? But what’s a guy to do?? I used to be a 36″ (some days pushing 38″) so I started conservatively. I picked up some 34″ pants from the clearance rack. Off to the changing room I went. I tried on the Michael Kors pants. Too loose. Then the others, all too loose. Back to the racks. Time to look for 32″ pants. In the dressing room I was heart broken. The Michael Kors pants were far too slim a fit, and made me think I could sing an octave higher than I’d remembered. But they were all “gappy” in the waist. Not a good fit. The buffalo jeans? they fit, but were too low a rise, and made me look like I was trying to be Brittany Spears in a beard. No to those. But then, from the pile appeared this pair of grey kakis. I slid them on. They fit. Well. I was in shock. Almost 9 years ago when Todd and I first met I was wearing 34s. Tight 34s. I don’t even remember the last time I wore a 32. Honestly I don’t!!
The pants were followed by a new T-shirt. I mean really, when you find a T-shirt that is the right colour, and fits you well (even when the tag says size SMALL) you Just. Can’t. Leave. It. Behind. The whirlwind of craziness was capped of with a moment of clarity indicating that a belt was a necessity also. Trust me. I struggled with that one. With all of the expenses Todd and I are currently trying to manage in an attempt to get ready for our impending wedding, I had to think logically. So, I chose a nice inexpensive reversible number that covers black and brown very well indeed. I ran to the cash, paid before I had even completely thought it through, and rushed back to work, as my lunch break was nearly over.
I was a absolutely thrilled and worried at the same time. I just couldn’t resist though. I went straight to the washroom and changed. I’m wearing my “street clothes” at work for the rest of today. (I mean the pants can easily be worn at work…. The shirt? Well it’s a little less “work like” and truthfully I DON’T GIVE A SHIT TODAY OK! GET OVER IT!! I’m happy and I’m wearing it!). I feel 10 times more energetic right now. I’m 100 times happier and I feel a decade younger. I don’t know when I have ever felt this accomplished before. I absolutely think this is one of the most memorable things I’ve accomplished EVER!! I was SOOOOO impressed with my progress I even bought a Timmies steeped tea BLACK so I didn’t derail my progress!!! (Somewhere in Brampton Todd just fainted 😜).
So, today you can all look at me. I WANT you to see what we’ve managed to do. Yes WE because 1. I could have never ever possibly done this without Todd, that is just a fact. and 2. Todd has completely transformed himself as well, and has been every bit (well in fact even MORE) successful than me.
If I can pull this off, ANYONE can. If you want to. I guess that’s the rub. It’s all in the WANTING. So look all you want. I can’t be offended today. I refuse to be anything less than ecstatic!! I may even have to go to BitStrips app and slim down my avatar as a celebratory gesture even!!! Amazingly I’m only working till 4pm today. So Todd? Get ready. I think you need a new shirt today too… You know you’ve earned it!! How do you feel about RED??
Thanks for reading!!