Today I started a blog post. It got long and twisted because I was trying to do to much at one time in one post. So now I’m “reformatting” it into several pieces that make more sense. This will be the first instalment.
A couple of weekends ago Todd and I found ourselves in the parking lot of a strip mall trying to decide on a plan for lunch. We had obviously not planned our day very well, all things considered, and we were paying the consequences. I will tell you more about that story in a later instalment. I just wanted to give you a little context, to help you understand why I am talking about Timmies (trust me I hold the iconic Canadian institution no hard feelings I swear). It’s just that our struggle with the menu got me thinking about eating out, and my past history with food.
So that’s where I’ll start. The
not so distant past. For months, well almost 2 years actually, the hospital where I work had a Tim Horton’s Coffee Shop as the only food vendor (don’t judge the hospital…. we’ve been under a major construction project ok?). Almost daily I would eat there. What would I have? Why a grilled cheese panini. Double cheese please. Oh, with TRIPLE bacon. Of course the meal would not be complete without the bottle of pepsi to wash it down with (oh, and another one for mid afternoon…. I might as well buy that now too…). Whatever you do make sure to include the boston cream donut!!! Can’t be without that!!!
God, those were the days. Completely blissfully ignorant. Not a care in the world. Eating whatever I wanted whenever I wanted without a second thought. Yes, I AM a nurse. Yes I KNOW that meal was not healthy in any way shape or form. NO I DIDN’T CARE!!! It tasted awesome and I was hungry, and a 12 hour shift is busy. I thought that EXEMPTED me from having to think about these things. Seriously. I. Just. Don’t. Have. The. Time. For. That!!! Besides, EVERYONE knows that working in a busy nursing unit is it’s own weight loss plan right? Activity cancels out calories!!!
Now that I am
dieting “calorie counting” I see things a little differently. How differently you ask? Well let’s start with a very personal tidbit. My daily calorie allotment is currently set at 1680 per day. When I initially started this journey MFP allowed me 2010, but due to my weight loss goals it downgraded me a few weeks ago to 1680. Let me be honest with you. I had kinda thought 2010 was manageable. I had accommodated. So, when the shift to 1680 happened I thought it would not be too bad. Well in truth is has been ok and it has been terrible all at once (we will revisit this in part 2 or 3 of this post I am sure….). Let’s just say for now, that I have a healthy respect for some of my female colleagues who are also trying to loose some weight. Why? well because the MFP app determines it’s numbers based on height/weight/gender/activity level and that formula leaves many of my friends and colleagues at a much LOWER calorie limit than I am currently on. With the difficulties I face when I have 1680 calories I can only imagine their struggles. But I digress.
Why is this daily calorie number so significant to this blog post? Well that’s simple. My lunch USED to be 1391 calories (1641 with the second Pepsi). OH MY GOD the SODIUM though…. 3405mg of sodium (3459 with the second pop)!! What was I DOING to myself???? As you can see, my lunch (if you include my second bottle of “mid afternoon” Pepsi) was clocking in at 1641 calories. BASICALLY I was eating my full day of calories in one sitting…. and let’s be honest… by mid-afternoon I had already consumed my early morning “breakfast” Pepsi, my late morning “coffee break” Pepsi AND my “lunch” Pepsi as well as assorted pastries for breakfast, and also at least one chocolate bar. Of course, dinner was yet to come, and there would always be a bedtime snack (with wine). Even as I type this, I feel a creeping sense of shame. Like that cute internet dog who won’t make eye contact with his owner because he tore open and ate the cat treats… http://youtu.be/B8ISzf2pryI
That my friends and readers is my HONEST confession. I don’t know if it makes you see me in a better, or a MUCH WORSE light. I mean after all I know I have a few sins to atone for. I did completely ignore what my body needed for many many years. I mean after all I AM 45 and JUST beginning to deal with the issues that have followed me for at least 5-10 years now. But if this shows you anything, I mean ANY THING at all….. It DOES prove that ANYONE can change their patterns. There is HOPE at least. If you want to you can teach yourself things you never even thought possible!!! At least that’s been my experience. Sometimes all it takes is a little time and effort to actually LOOK at the things you order from a menu to see the truth. And that friends is where I think I will end “Part 1.” I promise Part 2 will follow soon!!!
Thanks For reading!!!